Looking Back

Hearts from the past.

Experts say schools are safe as long as correct protocol is followed.  The responsibility for implementing correct protocol weighs heavily upon me.   I am constantly correcting behavior:  “Pull your mask up,” “You’re too close,” “Don’t touch that,” “Don’t talk when your mask is off,” “Face the front when you are eating,” “Clean your hands.”  It sounds like the teacher shrew I would normally despise.  I often start the day sipping ginger ale because I feel nauseous getting ready for work.  And at the end of each day my brain is exhausted. 

What I normally do to relieve stress is gone for now.  I injured my back with distance learning last spring, so I’ve been unable to exercise normally.  Reading is too heavy.  I don’t have motivation to play the flute.  Using my sewing machine takes too much work.  So what to do when I don’t have the energy to create?  

Afghan with too much fringe.

I found a few projects I can do without thought, beyond sewing on binding.  I unearthed a collection of cut hearts purchased over 25 years ago and I’ve been appliquéing them to random squares.  I don’t know what I will do with them when I’m finished, but it feels good to do something with my hands.  I dug out a pre-stenciled whole cloth quilt top that I may start hand quilting when my hearts are done.  And if too tired, I can always weave in the ends of an afghan I crocheted many years ago.  It does look much nicer as I reduce the all-over fringe.  And it is satisfying to see the pile of clipped yarn grow. 

Without the energy to move forward I find myself looking back.  There is a lesson here somewhere, and someday I will figure it out.