Feeling Normal

I have been feeling my pre-pandemic self lately.  I’m enjoying it but not going to analyze.  I feel engaged and curious and productive.  I’m moving pieces of fabric around, wondering what would happen if I did this or that.  I picked up my flute.  I didn’t play much but I did wipe off some of the tarnish.  It is wonderful to have energy.

I’m pushing past the heaviness I’ve felt for almost three years and starting to look ahead.  And in so doing, I can now look back with a bit of perspective and acknowledge the past.  I think it’s important to recognize how hard my work life has been during COVID.  It has changed me.  I don’t really know who I am anymore.  My initial response is to put my head down and slog through.  But I don’t want to miss an important part of growth.  I survived, and recognizing that somehow makes me feel stronger.

So I’m posting work to acknowledging what I’ve been through and hope it will help me heal and move on.

Lament: This piece is my response to loss at every level during the pandemic. For me personally it represents loss of energy and ideas, loss of creativity and growth, and isolation from family. The purple Pfizer vaccine bottles seen constantly in the news were the inspiration for the quilted circles.

Losing My Mind: When the Omicron variant spread through my community, the stress of so many students out sick was overwhelming. I felt I had a choice to either succumb or hold out against the chaos.

Holding On To Sanity: I felt I was mentally taking the chaotic mess and straightening out each line as best I could. This visual helped me push through.